


The Heavy Bear

by spikesgirl58



Series: the poetry challenge [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29719674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikesgirl58/pseuds/spikesgirl58
Summary: He and Heavy had always been the best of friends.  And friends look out for one another.Warnings - allusions to child/wife abuse, but nothing graphic.
Series: the poetry challenge [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171559
Comments: 10
Kudos: 4





	The Heavy Bear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lycomingst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lycomingst/gifts).



They met when they were quite young. Billy took him out of the box and it was love at first sight. 

“Billy, what are you going to call your bear?”

“Heawy.”

His parents exchanged amused glances then. The child was still learning words and it was possible that he meant something else. “Billy, do you mean Harry?” Daddy asked. Billy was happy it was nice Daddy today.

“No, heawy

“Heavy?”

“Uh huh, he name is Heawy.”

“How do you know that?”

“He told me.”

He caught the bear’s neck and hugged him close. “I wuv Heawy.”

Mommy smiled. “He loves you, too. If you take care of him and love him always, Heavy will take care of you.”

And that’s the way it was. From that moment on. Heavy and Billy were two birds of a feather. Heavy was always there. He helped Billy be brave when he was scared, made him laugh with his antics when he was sad and each night, he’d whisper a sweet story into Billy’s ear, lulling him to dreamland.

“Look at those two.” Mommy said from the door. “He sure loves that bear.”

“He sure does. Best friends, even.” Daddy sounded pleased.

Time went on and Billy made sure that everything he could, he shared with Heavy. Heavy had a voracious appetite, especially for sweets, so while Heavy grew, well, heavy, Billy didn’t.

One night Billy snuck downstairs for something to eat. He was hungry, having given much of his dinner to Heavy. He looked back at the bedroom door where Heavy slept, then at his parents through the staircase railing.

“I’m worried about Billy.” His mommy wrung her hands. Billy knew she was scared of Daddy. So was he, but he had Heavy.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he’s so thin. Do you think he’s all right? All he wants are sweets.”

“He’s a growing boy. You’re just coddling him.”

“I’m taking him to the doctor. Maybe he can figure out what’s wrong.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You’ll miss work.”

Daddy’s smile was mean. “My little son’s worth it. I’m not having you take off with him.”

Those words filled Billy with dread. He wasn’t quite sure what had happened along the way, but a few years ago Daddy had stopped laughing and started shouting. 

He nearly stopped in his mission and then he looked back. Heavy was watching him and Billy nodded. He’d have to bring something back for his friend.

The Doctor smiled too much and he smelled funny. Billy held Heavy close as the man looked in his eyes, his ears, and down his throat. Mommy and Daddy watched from nearby. 

“Everything looks okay, but you are right. He is underweight. Billy, can you jump on the scale for me?” He lifted Billy down and the boy struggled, trying to catch his toy’s outstretched arm. “Not your friend, this time, Billy, just you. We’ll weigh him after. How’s that?”

Heavy made a face at Billy and he sighed. “Okay.”

There was much head shaking and scratching on a pad. The doctor talked softly with his mommy while Billy, like a big boy, put his clothes back on. He didn’t need Mommy’s help.

“He is very underweight. Doesn’t he eat? And those marks?”

“I don’t know what caused them.”

Billy did. Heavy had. He wasn’t always very careful when they played, but no one asked him so he stayed quiet.

“I’m going to suggest some vitamins for him. What does he like to eat?”

“That’s just it, Doctor, he’ll eat anything.” Daddy meant Heavy did. Billy only got what Heavy didn’t want and Heavy wanted just about everything. Billy had learned the hard way that Heavy always got what he wanted.

The doctor noticed him then and smiled again. He held out a lollipop. “You did very well, Billy.”

The candy danced before his eyes. He was so hungry. “Do you think I could have two?”

“Two?”

“One for Heavy, too?” He knew Heavy was hungry.

The doctor made a face and hefted the stuff toy over onto the scale. “It looks like Heavy could stand to lose a few pounds. How about next time?” He took off the shiny wrapper and practically shoved the candy into Billy’s mouth. Billy didn’t want to, but he was suddenly crunching away on the sweetness. Then he caught Heavy’s eyes and his stomach flip flopped. Everything came up, not that there was much. 

“Oh for God’s sake woman, look at what he did!” Daddy shouted. He shook her and the doctor stopped him until Daddy hit him and the doctor fell down. 

Daddy grabbed Billy, then, and pushed him to the ground. “Clean it up!”

“Mommy?” Billy tried to get away from him.

“Not her, you! Clean it up.” Daddy almost had Billy’s face in it now and he gagged. 

“Heavy!” he cried and abruptly he was released. He stumbled back, against the metal table and curled up into a ball, his back to his father. Experience had taught him to protect his head.

There was a noise and Daddy shouting, then a funny noise like when you are sucking the last bit of soda through a straw. He felt funny, like when he was on the merry go round too long. “Mommy?” Billy asked, but everything was mixed up, red and black and wet. Billy decided it was time to sleep.

Billy woke up and tried to sit up. He felt weird and that’s when he realized Heavy was nowhere to be found. There was a funny tube stuck to his arm and a warm feeling in his stomach. It was like he was floating and he reached out for his friend.

“Heavy?” His voice sound weird.

“Oh, good, you are finally awake.” The woman in white leaned over him and put a cool cloth on his forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Funny, all jumbled up. Where’s Heavy?”

“Who?” 

“My bear, Heavy.”

“I don’t know, Billy.” Her face was kind, but Billy felt lost. “Mommy?”

The woman’s face looked scared and she spun around to look behind her. She forced a smile, like when Daddy was yelling at Mommy. “Doctor?”

Billy was confused, but he burrowed down into his bed and made believe that Heavy was there. 

“It’s okay. I got you, little buddy.” He heard the soft whisper. Billy opened his eyes and Heavy was there. He was very dirty and smelled funny, but Billy didn’t care. He hugged Heavy hard.

“Wow, Heavy, you need a bath.”

“I know. I need to go away for a little while now.”

“What? No, you can’t.” Billy looked over at the door. “Daddy’s mad at me for making a mess. He might be coming back”

“It doesn’t matter. He’s not going to be worrying about that anymore.”

“Mommy?”

“She’ll be okay, I think.”

Just then the nurse rushed back in. “Oh my god, where did that come from?”

Billy cried as Heavy was snatched away from him. “No!”

“It’s okay, Billy. The police just have a few questions to ask me.” Heavy smiled. 

“Okay. I love you, Heavy.”

“I love you, too, little Buddy. Be strong for your mom, okay?”

He never saw Heavy after that or Daddy. Mommy explained to Billy how Daddy’d gone away, really gone away, but she still always looked a little scared when there was a noise or a knock at the door. Billy wondered if Daddy was with Heavy. Then Billy remembered Heavy’s teeth and little bits of cloth caught between them… little bits that looked a lot like the shirt Daddy wore. And Billy knew irrefutably that Daddy was not coming back.

She opened the box and gasped. “A teddy bear!”

“A special teddy bear for Daddy’s special teddy bear.” 

Her stomach clenched and then the toy spoke quietly to her, the sound soothing and calming. “It’s okay, kid. Don’t worry. My name is Heavy and you’ll never have to worry again.”

Inspired by The Heavy Bear Goes with Me by Delmore Schwartz

The heavy bear who goes with me, 

A manifold honey to smear his face, 

Clumsy and lumbering here and there, 

The central ton of every place, 

The hungry beating brutish one 

In love with candy, anger, and sleep, 

Crazy factotum, dishevelling all, 

Climbs the building, kicks the football, 

Boxes his brother in the hate-ridden city.

Breathing at my side, that heavy animal, 

That heavy bear who sleeps with me, 

Howls in his sleep for a world of sugar, 

A sweetness intimate as the water’s clasp, 

Howls in his sleep because the tight-rope 

Trembles and shows the darkness beneath. 

—The strutting show-off is terrified, 

Dressed in his dress-suit, bulging his pants, 

Trembles to think that his quivering meat 

Must finally wince to nothing at all.

That inescapable animal walks with me,

Has followed me since the black womb held, 

Moves where I move, distorting my gesture, 

A caricature, a swollen shadow,

A stupid clown of the spirit’s motive, 

Perplexes and affronts with his own darkness, 

The secret life of belly and bone,

Opaque, too near, my private, yet unknown, 

Stretches to embrace the very dear

With whom I would walk without him near, 

Touches her grossly, although a word

Would bare my heart and make me clear, 

Stumbles, flounders, and strives to be fed 

Dragging me with him in his mouthing care, 

Amid the hundred million of his kind, 

The scrimmage of appetite everywhere.


End file.
